I had a twittervation with Wil Wheaton.

What did you do today?

Saturday Night Live needs to call Chevy Chase. He hasn’t been on the set for years, but he was great at portraying a president who admitted he couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time.

Now that a presidential candidate has pretty much admitted to the same thing, it’s gotta be good for at least one guest appearance. (Hopefully it’s not a long-term assignment.)

National Punctuation Day.

No, this is not the day where we celebrate being on time. That would be: “National Punctuality Day”. (In Britain, putting the period after the quotation mark would be proper. Here in America, it is improper usage. This is the type of discussion National Punctuation Day encourages.)

Learn what Punctuation Man has to say about the serial comma.

And, of course, the book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, could be the official book of National Punctuation Day. (I’m not saying it is, just that it could be.)

Not sure if this activates the curse or not, as I’m not forwarding a chain-email, I am posting a chain-email that was turned into a chain e-post. Additionally, the poster didn’t insist I post it forward, it’s intended for humor, and finally, it was Wil Wheaton.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

Me: I believe what Hitler attempted to do is rid this world of Judaism.

Palin: I believe that what President Bush has attempted to do is rid this world of Islamic extremism.

Yes. They aren’t identical. Palin used the modifier: Extremism.

So, if Hitler only attempted to rid this world of Orthodox Judaism, or maybe just the Chassidic Jews, that would have been OK? A war to rid the world of just the Roman Catholics would be OK - because, you know, that’s not all Catholics.

No. I have absolutely no desire to rid the world of Christian Extremism. They have every right to worship as they please. Those who bomb abortion clinics, or commit other acts of violence, need to be dealt with as appropriate for their crimes, but their religion is irrelevant. Those who seek to ban books, or return organized prayer to public schools, need to be opposed in the free market place of ideas. I hope the words that I “desire to rid the world of __insert religious group here__” would never escape my lips.

I can accept a war against Terrorism. I don’t think such a war will be won in my lifetime, as terrorism will last as long as war lasts, and I suspect I will not live to see the Messianic Age. If there is resurrection at the End of Days, maybe I will be lucky and be among the resurrected. But I can accept a war against individual terrorists when they arise. But their religious identification should be irrelevant. No, not should be, it needs to be.

A 2-minute political video created by Ari Sandel

My beloved Mac iBook which I have had for several years won’t boot, I get a folder with a question mark when I try to start up. And while I have followed all the suggestions in the online support documents, I haven’t had success.

I have scheduled an appointment tomorrow morning with the local Apple Retail Store at their Genius Bar. We’ll see how much of a genius the bartender is, and whether or not s/he can get it working without initializing the hard drive.

I’m not in horrible shape if all is lost. I would have been in much worse shape a year ago, but my backup system has improved greatly in the last year.

I have an external 200gb hard drive — though the last time I backed up to it was several months ago. But when I did, I backed up everything.

I also have a wristwatch with 4gb of storage. I’ve backed up much more recently to that (I like the idea that if there is a fire, the only thing I really need to grab, besides the cat I am caring for for a friend, is my watch.)

I don’t have room to save everything there, but I was saving what I consider my most important stuff. My fiction and poetry writing, as well as my family history research.

I think my primary losses will be a few downloads from iTunes (primarily the Dr. Horrible video), and I’ve heard they sometimes allow you to re-download lost items for free. And some personal photographs I took — though the most important ones I ended up emailing to friends or family so I have at least a reduced-size image stored in my Gmail Sent Mail folder.

Old hard drive declared deceased by M.E. (Mac Examiner). New hard drive has been ordered. It will take 10-14 days. Luckily I have a work laptop PC so I can access my Gmail account, and the internet, so I still have some connectivity.

A friend introduced me to a wonderful quote by Mark Twain today. I went in search of the source, and discovered it was a quote of Mark Twain from an interview with Rudyard Kipling. The quote I was given ends the excerpt below.

“Personally I never care for fiction or story-books. What I like to read about are facts and statistics of any kind. If they are only facts about the raising of radishes, they interest me. Just now, for instance, before you came in,” — he pointed to an encyclopaedia on the shelves — “I was reading an article about ‘Mathematics.’ Perfectly pure mathematics.

“My own knowledge of mathematics stops at ‘twelve times twelve,’ but I enjoyed that article immensely. I didn’t understand a word of it; but facts, or what a man believes to be facts, are always delightful. That mathematical fellow believed in his facts. So do I. Get your facts first, and “– the voice dies away to an almost inaudible drone - “then you can distort ‘em as much as you please.”

– “Interview with Mark Twain”, From Sea to Sea: Letters of Travel, by Rudyard Kipling.

Has the world been destroyed yet by the hadron collider?

McCain has a new ad stating that FactCheck.org claimed Obama statements were false and misleading.

FactCheck responds that they said no such thing.

Our article criticized anonymous e-mail falsehoods and bogus claims about Palin posted around the Internet. We have no evidence that any of the claims we found to be false came from the Obama campaign.

We have yet to dispute any claim from the Obama campaign about Palin.

There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Auden

Andrwe Sullivan on McCain’s Integrity

It hasn’t changed much from 4 years ago

Take the Politopia Quiz to see where you reside.

I believe in Don’t Ask Don’t Tell when it comes to asking me which questions I answered which way

Your Issue Profile: 76% Obama, 24% McCain

While it sounds like Obama is the choice for you, he’s not a perfect match. You and John McCain actually share some of the same views. Whether this is news to your or not, you have some studying to do. Obama seems like he’s the right fit, but it’s an important issue might sway you over to McCain.

However, I suspect Greg and I didn’t answer EVERY question differently, even though that is a possibility.

Politicians whose “boyish good looks” may have made some Americans think less of their intelligence:

Dan Quayle
John Edwards
Richard Gephardt (in 1988)

There are probably more that could be listed, but these three came to mind rather quickly.

The inarguably unfair stereotype of mutual exclusivity between beauty and brains is not only directed at women.

Does anyone reading this know where in St. Louis I could go to buy a specific Topps baseball card? I’m not looking for a pack, becase I suspect I would have to buy a lot of packs before I got the one card I’m looking for. I can get the card on Ebay, but I would rather avoid shipping and handling fees if I can patronize a local dealer.

Topps recently released a Victor Hugo card. (There’s also a Harriet Beecher Stowe card, which would be fun to have too.). I love the concept of putting these cards in packs of baseball cards for kids to find, and whoever at Topps who is responsible for it, should be congratulated.

(Modification of joke I heard in an email…)

Last night my cat and I were sitting in the den and I said to him, ‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

The cat got up, chewed on the computer cable until the screen went dark, and then opened my refrigerator and drank my beer.

Damn, that cat is smart.

[Not sure if this is funnier, or saddier than the original.]

Find your old Yearbook photo (it doesn’t always pick 1970s. You might get a 1950s style. Or something else.)

Since I haven’t been writing about a lot lately, I thought I would get in my VP thoughts before Obama makes them moot.

If Obama selected Hillary Clinton, he would make a lot of members of the Democratic Party happy - most of them over 50. He would make a lot of under-40 members unhappy. Most of those between 25-40 would still vote for him, but a significant number of those under 25 would stay home.

If he doesn’t pick Hillary Clinton (regardless of who he picks from those that have been mentioned in the press as being considered) Most of those over 50 who would have thought he made a great choice with Clinton, will think he made the wrong choice. And those under 40 may not be thrilled with the choice he makes, but they will agree ‘at least he didn’t make the horribly wrong choice of Clinton.”

I think Obama can win either way. He regains the older generation he is struggling with now by choosing Clinton, so if the youth stay home (like they usually do) it won’t matter. But otherwise, I am confident he can change the demographics of the vote. (And all the polls that currently show McCain and Obama tied are assuming the demographics remain consistent with the past.)

I want him to win it by not choosing Clinton - but I am under 50. The age-chasm is interesting. I haven’t seen it before to this degree.

Blair has discovered it’s not his fault

Unfortunately, I am the dictionary definition of being at fault.

Above is Schrödinger. He is a five year old cat who was in need of a temporary home for a couple weeks. I grew up with dogs, and cats are definitely different creatures. For example, dogs don’t try to help you compose blog posts. But Schrödinger is friendly.

Schrödinger is the name that was given to him by his primary human companion, though if I were ever to name a cat, Schrödinger would likely be on my list of potential names as well. If you don’t understand why, Wikipedia should help.

Walking the Berkshires asks the question:

What were the 10 most influential albums of your formative teenaged years? I’m not talking about the ones that defined everyone else, but the ones that to a large extent defined you, and are still discernible musical influences.

Ahh, this is a difficult question. I didn’t listen to a lot of music as a teenager. I know, this sounds abnormal. I was abnormal. I’m much better at saying which books/authors defined me (Stephen King, Robert Heinlein, Anne Rice, Isaac Asimov, Douglas Adams, and Joseph Heller - those pretty much define high school for me.)

High School (1984-1987)

1) Grateful Dead: American Beauty/Truckin’

I hadn’t yet seen a concert, but my sister made me a cassette tape of these two albums. I played it over and over.

2) Tom Lehrer: Songs of Tom Lehrer

His first album, recorded in the 50s. Discovered in my parent’s collection. It would be many years before I was introduced to Dementia and Filking, but I have always enjoyed humor, and Lehrer was an expert.

3) Capitol Steps: Danny Boy

I had several of their albums, but I decided to pick the one they named after the Vice President that made everyone laugh. Enjoyed for the same reason I enjoyed Lehrer. Humor. Political Humor.

4) Eagles: Greatest Hits

One of the first albums I was given as a gift my my more musically fashionable siblings. So the songs have a nostalgic value for me today.

5) Les Miserables Soundtrack

This is a stretch. I was a Freshman in college when I first saw the musical, but I would have been 19, so I was still a teen, right?

I can’t think of anything to add to the list. I know: pitiful.
I would be introduced to a lot more music in my 20s.

82 year old honey locust bloom

Do you think this is a message from G-d about the new friends you’re hanging out with?

In one of those “had to be in Miami” moments, Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s tour bus was involved in an accident at 55th and Biscayne Boulevard.

When we heard the new here at the New Times, we thought it was a prefect example of why states should yank a senior citizen’s rights to drive after the age of 70. Then we learn 71-year-old McCain wasn’t even on the bus, in fact, he wasn’t even in the state — disappointing, we know. According to the Herald, the only people on the bus were the driver, Sen. Joe Lieberman and an aide.

I’ve heard there were no injuries beyond the vehicle. Which is why I’d even consider making a joke.

Here’s one USB device at ThinkGeek.com which I don’t feel I *need now*: The USB Pregnancy Test

Of course, I’m sure one or two readers of this blog may feel differently.

For this reality tv concept, instead of a Celebrity Edition, they will have a Political Edition. It will become the way we select the President someday. I’m certain.

He got transported back in time to Ancient Rome!

Today’s Old Picture of the Day illustrates that even back in 1938, when gas was at 20 cents a gallon, people complained enough that one gas station owner decided he had to explain how the cost was derived.

Apparently, some research has been conducted

(And I am not as late on learning of this as I was on learning about TWINKIES)

‘After the birth of a child there’s always the temptation to say ‘Yes, it’s cute, but what can it do?’

(I’m not sure of the reliability of this news source…)

Bill Gates and family held and robbed in family home
Oprah Winfrey announces marriage
Oprah hurt in freak highway accident
Drug-related shooting leaves 2 NFL stars fighting for their lives
Trump declares bankruptcy, attempts suicide

Source: My spam folder

[Note: It’s unclear whether Oprah was in the accident before or after her announcement, or whether any of the other news stories are interconnected in some fashion.]

Update: More Breaking News from my spam folder

Tobey Maguire breaks 2 bones in leg after freak hit and run
Intel announces merger with AMD
More tapes of Scarlett Johansson surface
Britney falls during rock-climbing, injures back and arm

(I think the tapes of Scarlett are of her reporting the Intel/AMD merger news.)

The Academy Award winning short film, West Bank Story will be on the Sundance Channel this Friday, July 18th twice - at 7:30 am and 4:35 pm (Central Time)

It’s probably been there before, but I just got AT&T UVerse free for a month, along with a DVR, so I’ve been searching for interesting things to record. This will definitely be stored on my DVR so I can watch it whenever I want. (Yeah, I own the DVD, my cousin stars in it, of course I own the DVD, but I’m sure there will be times I’m too lazy to get up and walk to the DVD cabinet.)

Bob is closer to Easy Street than I am. He even posted a picture of it today.

I will admit I couldn’t have told you that Czechoslovakia was now two countries, Slovakia and The Czech Republic.

However, in January of 1993, when the split happened, I wasn’t beginning my second term as US Senator. And I haven’t been in the US Senate since then, either. I’m not running for President. I really don’t need to know these things.

Hopefully McCain knows that Europe’s most populous city isn’t Constantinople.

According to my gmail account, I am currently using 1789 mb of space in my account.

I have no idea what significance that number might have.

Oh, btw, Liberty, Equality, Fraternity!

My method of predicting the all-star game is slightly different from my method of predicting other major sporting events. The numbers the players have on their jerseys is irrelevant.

If I watch the game: the National League has a chance of winning
If I don’t (like I haven’t post-1996): The American League will win.

Bet on the American League. My weekly writer’s group still meets on Tuesdays.

This may sound like old news. Really old news.

I remember when I first started working in the IT department of AG Edwards and Sons back in 1998 and was shocked to learn they were still using 3.11. That was 10 years ago. I no longer work there. AG Edwards no longer exists. (They’re now Wachovia, though all the advertising placards say “AG Edwards is now *with* Wachovia” as if to suggest AG Edwards still exists as a partner.)

But while 3.11 hasn’t been available for years in Retail, non-Retail Original Equipment Manufacters (OEMs) apparently could still embed it.

Windows for Workgroups 3.11 will no longer be licensed to any OEMs as of November 1st.

Here’s a link to the Wikipage for those who want to see the ‘real’ one.

of course **someone** did, predictably, attempt to make a change this morning. It didn’t last.

The ‘in popular culture’ sections of wiki entries can get rather trivial at times.

“When she went back on her word, I was literally beside myself with anger,” Becky said.
“So, like David Banner turns into The Hulk when he gets angry, when you get angry you clone yourself into dupes?” Tom asked.
“Hunh?”
“You said you were literally beside yourself.”
“It’s a metaphor.”
“No. ‘Beside yourself,’ is the metaphor. You added ‘literally’ to it, which means, you’re no longer using it as a metaphor.”
“It can also be used for emphasis.”
“If ‘literally’ is used to emphasize the non-literal, how will we know when ‘literally’ literally means ‘literally?”
“I’m confused.”
“Literally?”

Here’s a basic love poem.

What I tell you three times is true.

to any Canadians who happen to be reading this blog.

I have several Canadian ancestors, though the ancestors of these ancestors were pre-Americans who backed the wrong side in a certain war, the anniversary of which occurs in a few days.

Anyone who has an interest in reading a complete listing of all my known ancestors who immigrated to America - when and from where they came - should read this post on my genealogy blog.

spell your own words

This week’s Unshelved Book Club has hooked me. “A novel in verse about werewolves.” I need to check this out.

I’ve added to my blogroll on the left a list of comics I read in my feed reader

* Indexed
* My Life in a Cube
* Penny Arcade
* Questionable Content
* This Modern World
* Unshelved
* Wondermark
* XKCD

Any recommendations for other comics with available feeds I might enjoy reading? I’m particularly interested in those comics that don’t appear in newspapers, though I realize This Modern World does.